I frighten myself when I drink which is...

Why I ended up going home alone on Halloween...........

I did something so horribly embarrassing....I was dancing with this girl that I thought was dressed up as a pregnant Shakespearian woman and she said, "you can grab anything you want to"....so I reach out with both hands like I was going to grab her b00bs, then instead, quickly grabbed what I thought was going to be her fake stomach. It ended up being her REAL stomach....all jiggly and fat. I could have died.

A bottle of gin definitely impares one's rational thought process.