Dream a Little Dream for.....Dolly?
5:30 AM found me waking from the most bizarre dream of my life. How should I begin to relay this? First I'll give some background.........
I recently started a new job working trouble and customer service calls for a paging company. I know what you're thinking 'who has a pager these days?' Well, a bunch of weirdos, that's who. I mean these are major freaks calling that don't EVEN know how to put a battery in a pager! Anyway, back to the background of my dream....where was I? Oh yeah....so to work for a paging
company you have to go through training to know what system does who-ha, and what system sniffs a**-holes, and whatever else I never wanted to know in my LIFE. The training consists of 2 weeks sitting there with nerds, geeks, and a couple cool people for 8 hours from 4:30 PM to 12:30 AM. Meanwhile, at my day job, I was working 7:00 AM to 3:30 PM throughout the week. With the little spare time I had on Saturday and Sunday, I thought about taking voice lessons from this gal that I previously attended church with. I'm also in the process of moving to a new apartment. And....along the way somewhere, I think a Dolly Parton concert was in town.
Ok, so now you know the background essentials: training class, voice lesson lady, Dolly Parton, new apartment, wacky-wigged-out work hours.
The dream starts out in what appears to be a brand- spanking new office building. I'm walking down the hall exploring the modern, bland environment when out of a door marked SLEEPING ROOM comes my trainer from the night job. I'm like "Hi D, how are you?"..He says,"Tired, but I can't wait to relax in the company provided heated pool." My face contorts into a look of puzzlement, which cracks D up. Ironically, I can see myself making this face in the dream, but I think that's because I've spent way too much time making faces in the bathroom mirror. I follow D into a large room that resembles a school gymnasium. Except that, in the center of the room is a gigantic hot tub. The bubbles are small like a carbonated beverage, which was bizarre-o to say the least.
Fully clothed, we walk down a slope into the water and just float on our backs for a while. When I stop staring at the ceiling and look around the gymnasium, it is now full as if an assembly is about to begin. The carbonated, heated pool has disappeared along with D and now a 10 x 20 stage appears behind me. I turn back around and peer to the left. Through floor to ceiling windows taking up the whole wall, a black tour bus is visible pulling to the door. Out of the bus and into the gym-like room walks Dolly Parton, but instead of her normal mega-blonde wig, she's wearing a black wig styled in the same poofy 'do. "I needed a change" she says in her Southern drawl.
She hops on stage but nobody seems to recognize her so she pulls off her wig, throws it on the floor, as everyone watches it bounce like a rubber ball. Underneath the wig her hair looks like a dirty poodle all nappy and curly, squashed to her head. It reminds me of a trailer trash woman that doesn't feel like fussing with her hair so she buzzes it really short, then thinking she no longer needs to wash it allowing much grease to accumulate therein. In short, it was nasty looking!
Dolly decides the performance isn't going to work without her normal "good luck" blonde wig. She struts over to her assistant whose brought in giant hat box. Contained is her wig. She slowly lifts the golden locks as a mother would lift a newborn baby and places it on her skanky head.
At this point I'm sitting on a couch (I don't know how that got there) and Dolly comes over saying, "NOW, I can perform!" I hand her a microphone headset and she walks to the stage. The crowd is applauding and Dolly starts to sing. She looks at me in fright because the sound board hasn't been set properly and her voice sounds very small. I shrug and mouth "I know nothing about sound systems." Simultaneously, from the audience I see the voice lesson lady with a microphone start singing a song that somehow we knew was Dolly's newest hit. The audience shrieks again, and Dolly takes the lead, while the voice lesson lady does backup.
That's when I woke and sat straight up. Now.... can anyone interpret this dream for me?
I recently started a new job working trouble and customer service calls for a paging company. I know what you're thinking 'who has a pager these days?' Well, a bunch of weirdos, that's who. I mean these are major freaks calling that don't EVEN know how to put a battery in a pager! Anyway, back to the background of my dream....where was I? Oh yeah....so to work for a paging
company you have to go through training to know what system does who-ha, and what system sniffs a**-holes, and whatever else I never wanted to know in my LIFE. The training consists of 2 weeks sitting there with nerds, geeks, and a couple cool people for 8 hours from 4:30 PM to 12:30 AM. Meanwhile, at my day job, I was working 7:00 AM to 3:30 PM throughout the week. With the little spare time I had on Saturday and Sunday, I thought about taking voice lessons from this gal that I previously attended church with. I'm also in the process of moving to a new apartment. And....along the way somewhere, I think a Dolly Parton concert was in town.
Ok, so now you know the background essentials: training class, voice lesson lady, Dolly Parton, new apartment, wacky-wigged-out work hours.
The dream starts out in what appears to be a brand- spanking new office building. I'm walking down the hall exploring the modern, bland environment when out of a door marked SLEEPING ROOM comes my trainer from the night job. I'm like "Hi D, how are you?"..He says,"Tired, but I can't wait to relax in the company provided heated pool." My face contorts into a look of puzzlement, which cracks D up. Ironically, I can see myself making this face in the dream, but I think that's because I've spent way too much time making faces in the bathroom mirror. I follow D into a large room that resembles a school gymnasium. Except that, in the center of the room is a gigantic hot tub. The bubbles are small like a carbonated beverage, which was bizarre-o to say the least.
Fully clothed, we walk down a slope into the water and just float on our backs for a while. When I stop staring at the ceiling and look around the gymnasium, it is now full as if an assembly is about to begin. The carbonated, heated pool has disappeared along with D and now a 10 x 20 stage appears behind me. I turn back around and peer to the left. Through floor to ceiling windows taking up the whole wall, a black tour bus is visible pulling to the door. Out of the bus and into the gym-like room walks Dolly Parton, but instead of her normal mega-blonde wig, she's wearing a black wig styled in the same poofy 'do. "I needed a change" she says in her Southern drawl.
She hops on stage but nobody seems to recognize her so she pulls off her wig, throws it on the floor, as everyone watches it bounce like a rubber ball.
Dolly decides the performance isn't going to work without her normal "good luck" blonde wig. She struts over to her assistant whose brought in giant hat box. Contained is her wig. She slowly lifts the golden locks as a mother would lift a newborn baby and places it on her skanky head.
At this point I'm sitting on a couch (I don't know how that got there) and Dolly comes over saying, "NOW, I can perform!" I hand her a microphone headset and she walks to the stage. The crowd is applauding and Dolly starts to sing. She looks at me in fright because the sound board hasn't been set properly and her voice sounds very small. I shrug and mouth "I know nothing about sound systems." Simultaneously, from the audience I see the voice lesson lady with a microphone start singing a song that somehow we knew was Dolly's newest hit. The audience shrieks again, and Dolly takes the lead, while the voice lesson lady does backup.
That's when I woke and sat straight up. Now.... can anyone interpret this dream for me?
posted by SirTalksALot at 1/03/2005 03:19:00 PM
3 Comments:
At this rate the only live performer I'll become is a street clown.
Looks like this has a little to do with your "vanity" issue you mentioned before the dream. Dolly cannot perform without her normal blonde wig, hey, she's skanky without it, and black? well, black doesn't work either, it's gotta be just right with the poofy blonde curls. How could you possibly preform at two jobs, voice lessons, etc without the right wig? You need the right wig, Sir, your "vainness" is in search of it. (:
Well, my hair is thinning. Perhaps I need to get a rug. Yeah, that's it! Thank you! You've solved my Dolly Dream Nightmare! Anyone know of a good wig shop?
Post a Comment
<< Home