Involuntary Narcissistic Narcoleptic Selectio.

I'm sometimes vain. Ok, perhaps very vain.....aaand maybe not just sometimes. When I walk by a dark store front window I glance sideways to see how I look. When I'm in the elevator I look at my reflection in the metal doors. If there are no metal doors and nobody else is in there, the black plastic covering the floor indicator will suffice. When I'm in the bathroom and there's no mirror, I try to see me in the chrome piping on the flusher. I'm vain - insane vain. The sad thing happens to be that despite how good or how bad I look, I still require the same amount of looksies. If me like-y the way me lookie I make studly and seductive faces. If I look bad I make goofball faces and roll my lips up like a monkey.

I think I'm narcoleptic too. I sleep at work. I sleep when I visit my family. Funny thing - I don't sleep when I'm having fun. Is this disease I have called Selective Narcolepsy? I only sleep when I'm stressed or bored, or too full of food.

Vanity isn't deterred by narcolepsy. I wake up in the night and if there is just enough light and the TV is not on, my face appears on TV. Sure I can't make out details, but my imagination fills them in. I'm one sexy fella when I wake up.

On second thought, I'm delusional when I wake up!

I've created a name for my affliction: Involuntary Narcissistic Narcoleptic Selectio.