Answers to life's REAL questions.....
Okay, Okay, I'm slightly less creative these days...so here's another no brainer post.
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Answers to life's REAL questions........
Q: Do you really want to hurt me?
A: Hurt you? I don't even know you, FREAK! Why are you asking my computer this question (and me)?
Q: Do you really want to make me cry?
A: No. No I don't. But if you keep asking me questions like that I may have to do things you don't want me to do.
Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?
A: Yes! They used to call me map boy in school because I practically know how to get anywhere. Where ya coming from and I'll tell you how to get to San Jose!
Q: What's love got to do, got to do with it?
A: I dunno, who said anything about love? I'm just here for a good time, should I leave the money on the night stand? And...by "it" are you referring to the hairy Addams Family cousin? I'm sure "IT" was an elementary school nurses nightmare during lice checks. IT isn't going to be here will IT? That's WAY to kinky for me.
Q: Is this love that I'm feeling?
A: No, I think that's gas from Taco Bell. Let me direct you to the nearest bathroom quick!
Q: Will you marry me Bi-ill?
A: My name's, not Bill, it's Sirtalksalot. And no, as I stated before I'm just here for a good time. Do you accept Diners Club? Where should I, uh huh huh, swipe this thing?
Q: Can you feel the love tonight?
A: Uhm, it's still day time. I'm not a psychic lover. How would I know what I feel tonight?
Q: Didn't we almost have it all?
A: Define "it all" and I'll explore this question some more.
Q: Where do broken hearts go?
A: To rehab? Therapy? Why you asking me... I'm a heartless bastard. Heartless, I SAY!
Q: When can I see you again?
A: I guess when you get out of your K-hole and open your eyes! You're still breathing right?
Q: How do I get through one night without you?
A: The answer is simple...here's my picture, now I'm always there, even at night.
Q: How do I get you alone?
A: Well, you could try sabotaging all my other relationships. How does that sound?
Q: How deep is your love?
A: Shallow, REALLY, shallow, we're talking baby pool deep here. Watch out for that yellow part of my love, I think someone pissed on it.
Q: What becomes of the brokenhearted?
A: There are many answers to this.........
1. They whine to their friends.
2. They drink way too much, then drunk dial the person that broke their heart.
3. If they're female they may eat an entire container of ice cream, fret about being fat, then cry cuz "nobody will ever love them again..."
4. If they're male, they may stand outside the chics apartment and scream STELLLLLAAAAA.
5. They could become bitter, bitter people trying to spoil love for all those who try to find it.
**6. They could forget about love and get a blow up doll. But if they do that they should also buy a rubber repair kit.
**this statement is pure speculation, and not from the author knowing from personal experience.....
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And with that, have a wonderful day! Okie-dokie?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers to life's REAL questions........
Q: Do you really want to hurt me?
A: Hurt you? I don't even know you, FREAK! Why are you asking my computer this question (and me)?
Q: Do you really want to make me cry?
A: No. No I don't. But if you keep asking me questions like that I may have to do things you don't want me to do.
Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?
A: Yes! They used to call me map boy in school because I practically know how to get anywhere. Where ya coming from and I'll tell you how to get to San Jose!
Q: What's love got to do, got to do with it?
A: I dunno, who said anything about love? I'm just here for a good time, should I leave the money on the night stand? And...by "it" are you referring to the hairy Addams Family cousin? I'm sure "IT" was an elementary school nurses nightmare during lice checks. IT isn't going to be here will IT? That's WAY to kinky for me.
Q: Is this love that I'm feeling?
A: No, I think that's gas from Taco Bell. Let me direct you to the nearest bathroom quick!
Q: Will you marry me Bi-ill?
A: My name's, not Bill, it's Sirtalksalot. And no, as I stated before I'm just here for a good time. Do you accept Diners Club? Where should I, uh huh huh, swipe this thing?
Q: Can you feel the love tonight?
A: Uhm, it's still day time. I'm not a psychic lover. How would I know what I feel tonight?
Q: Didn't we almost have it all?
A: Define "it all" and I'll explore this question some more.
Q: Where do broken hearts go?
A: To rehab? Therapy? Why you asking me... I'm a heartless bastard. Heartless, I SAY!
Q: When can I see you again?
A: I guess when you get out of your K-hole and open your eyes! You're still breathing right?
Q: How do I get through one night without you?
A: The answer is simple...here's my picture, now I'm always there, even at night.
Q: How do I get you alone?
A: Well, you could try sabotaging all my other relationships. How does that sound?
Q: How deep is your love?
A: Shallow, REALLY, shallow, we're talking baby pool deep here. Watch out for that yellow part of my love, I think someone pissed on it.
Q: What becomes of the brokenhearted?
A: There are many answers to this.........
1. They whine to their friends.
2. They drink way too much, then drunk dial the person that broke their heart.
3. If they're female they may eat an entire container of ice cream, fret about being fat, then cry cuz "nobody will ever love them again..."
4. If they're male, they may stand outside the chics apartment and scream STELLLLLAAAAA.
5. They could become bitter, bitter people trying to spoil love for all those who try to find it.
**6. They could forget about love and get a blow up doll. But if they do that they should also buy a rubber repair kit.
**this statement is pure speculation, and not from the author knowing from personal experience.....
---------------------------------------------------------
And with that, have a wonderful day! Okie-dokie?
posted by SirTalksALot at 9/06/2005 10:18:00 AM
14 Comments:
i think boy george is stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
STELLLLAAAAA!!! Stella, you bitch, I'm right outside. Listen whore, open the door before I beat it in with your dog head!!! Stella!!!!
I've heard that's what happens to some of the brokenhearted. I dont know though, I'm with you bro.
video x - wait until my next post...it's going to be about songs that stick in your head.
timmortal - doghead! ha! that's good stuff. I'll have to remember that.
Sabatoging anothers relationship....hmm I like it, though it probably could get messy. There probably would be crying. Can't deal with the crying
Lol,lol...You crack me up! This post was great! I'll be laughing for the rest of the day.
CRASH: Buck's Roommate here, Tony
Love how you used lyrics for all of the questions. Buck would approve if he was here.
I do believe that you found at least a spark of creativity with that one.
Don't forget the ultimate brokenheart task...spray painting "bitch" on the overpass where just two weeks earlier you had proclaimed your love.
I hate you now! 'How do I get you alone' will be in my head for weeks now! You are evil, but funny!
rich - ensure your victim was born without tear ducts, problem solved, you can sabatoge away!
linny - glad to tickle your funny bone!
buck rogers/tony - thank ya! heck if you need a writer for the radio...I'm all fingers!
drink more jack - would that be in John Deere Green, and is this speaking from your own history (I won't call the highway dept) that's living like a rock star.
dawn marie - me and my co-workers are always trying to get songs stuck in each others heads. Evil, I am, yes!
MERCEDES!!!!! Oh wait, we did this yesterday.
What I was hoping you would tell me is...
How am I supposed to live without you?
timmortal - car auctions have replaced bars as the new cruise by for findin' a woman.
allison - you stuck me with the hardest question of all......and there are many answers to that question as well.....#1 don't play with plastic shopping bags, they are not a toy. #2..... nah, #1 is the major point to follow.
Very Funny
a couple you forgot-
"Does anybody really know what time it is"
"What would you do if I sang out of tune"
"Who do you love"
"Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near"
"Where did our love go"
"Is this the real life, or just Fantasy"
al - yeah, those are good ones! there's actually a list I found of all the songs with questions in the titles, or lyrics. This post probably could have been 1000 pages long if my brain worked long enough to make the answers.
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