Feeding Tube Frenzy....
Good Things About Feeding Tubes:

-Fear Factor would be a lot easier with a feeding tube. They should start a new series "Feeding Tube Fear Factor." The contestants would have a blind-fold on and they would stick various unknown liquids down the feeding tube.

-A keg party. It'd be like pulling a car in for gas. Kegs should have an adapter just for this purpose. "Fill me up!"

-Similarly, you could buy a bottle of vodka and a bottle of orange juice, get one of those baseball caps with two pop can holders, add a second feeding tube, and PRESTO! Screwdrivers all night!

-Stealing drinks at the bar would be a cinch!

-You could defend yourself against mugging by yakking and squirting them with stomach acid instead of mace.

-When you belch you could make cool noises like when you let air out of a baloon and squeeze the top.

-If you ever eat too much, you could just hook the end up to the garbage disposal and suck the food out.

Bad Things About Feeding Tubes:

-When I stuck it in a Rax chocolate chip milkshake it would probably get clogged.

-What if I'm in a hurry and the end flopped into the toilet!

-When you pass out (at the keg party) people would probably stick worms in the end.

-I don't think they're dishwasher safe.
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The Walls Are Covered With...
...Dirt Cake. We're having a potluck today at work, so last night I went to the store to buy the ingredients. Being that I do not own a mixer, I used the blender to make the pudding. Creaming, the butter and cream cheese together with powdered sugar became tedious so I figured tossing it in the blender with the pudding to be a good idea. The darn thing didn't mix at all. Worried that I broke it I dumped the mixture into a huge bowl and finised making my desert. Back to the blender, I thought I better clean this sucker out....I filled the blender with water and soap, placed the lid on, and hit blend just to see if the piece of junk still worked. SPLASH, the lid popped off and watery chocolate pudding went everywhere - on the walls, on the floor, on ME. I ran and got a towel and wiped everything clean. Luckily the walls didn't get stained. I hope everyone likes this Damned Dirt Cake. It was more trouble than it was worth. (Due to my own stupidity of course).
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The recipe for anyone that may want it...

Dirt Cake

1 Large package of Oreo cookies
1/2 c butter, softened
8oz cream cheese, softened
1 c confectioner's sugar
1 ts vanilla
2 pk instant chocolate pudding
3 c milk
12 oz whipped topping,
1 tub

crush cookies... set aside.cream the butter, cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth and fluffy..... set aside.combine pudding mix and milk until well blended. then fold in whipped topping.gently fold the cream cheese and pudding mixtures together.then layer crumbs and mixture.