Sportman...er...uh..Sportswomanship?
Remember how I was disturbed about Peter Pan with a cameltoe? Well get a load of this snipet from a Zimbabwe article about a female athlete now found to be male.
(http://www.zimbabwedemocracytrust.org/outcomes/details?contentId=2041)
"...According to the newspaper, Mr. Sithole told the court that he had been born with both male and female genitals, and that his parents consulted a traditional healer for help. The healer, he said, prescribed a mix of herbs that caused his male organs to disappear entirely.
Unfortunately, he said, his parents paid only half the healer's fee. And when the healer recently tired of waiting for the balance, Mr. Sithole said, he caused the male genitals to spontaneously grow back as punishment. Mr. Sithole said that he had made arrangements to pay the debt, and that he had been scheduled to turn over the money - and revert to exclusively female status - on the day he appeared in court. "
Ok, when I caught my breath and ceased gut wrenching laughter brought on by a name like "Sithole" (which ironically reminds me of my Shi*hole Sweater story), I had to wonder what mix of herbs would make a male organ disappear ENTIRELY?
I REALLY hope terrorists don't get a hold of that stuff, because worse than any A-bomb, worse than any chemical warefare, would be this herb sprinkled in the city water system. Imagine waking up without your Ya-who'sya-daddy and his beanbag . There would be mass suicide to contend with.
Another question raised (snicker - RAISED) by this article: How can a "healer" cause male genitals to spontaneously grow? Does the maker of Viagra know this? Because if I were that healer, I'd be making my way to America to market my abilities!
And what's up with these parents only paying half the fee for a sex change/shrinking operation, I bet Mr. Sithole was really pissed. I mean come on!
---
MOM & DAD: Honey, for Christmas this year, we bought you a gift certificate for penis shrinking by Charles Penzone's Day Spa.
.....after the first appointment and in a higher voice
IT: Uh...mom, dad, Uh...where's the second gift certificate. They said I need a few more treatments to make this permanent or my penis will SPONTANEOUSLY grow back.
MOM & DAD look at each: Did you buy another gift certificate? No, did you buy another gift certificate? NO. Hmm, well honey, I guess you'll have to wait till next year.
---
Poor Mr. Sithole, he was in the girls locker room at an athletic event when his SPONTENAITY decided to present itself.
The morale of the story....Even a shrunken penis has a mind of its own in a girls locker room!
Whoa. This is going to completely change Ripley's Believe it or Not display of shrunken heads.
(http://www.zimbabwedemocracytrust.org/outcomes/details?contentId=2041)
"...According to the newspaper, Mr. Sithole told the court that he had been born with both male and female genitals, and that his parents consulted a traditional healer for help. The healer, he said, prescribed a mix of herbs that caused his male organs to disappear entirely.
Unfortunately, he said, his parents paid only half the healer's fee. And when the healer recently tired of waiting for the balance, Mr. Sithole said, he caused the male genitals to spontaneously grow back as punishment. Mr. Sithole said that he had made arrangements to pay the debt, and that he had been scheduled to turn over the money - and revert to exclusively female status - on the day he appeared in court. "
Ok, when I caught my breath and ceased gut wrenching laughter brought on by a name like "Sithole" (which ironically reminds me of my Shi*hole Sweater story), I had to wonder what mix of herbs would make a male organ disappear ENTIRELY?
I REALLY hope terrorists don't get a hold of that stuff, because worse than any A-bomb, worse than any chemical warefare, would be this herb sprinkled in the city water system. Imagine waking up without your Ya-who'sya-daddy and his beanbag . There would be mass suicide to contend with.
Another question raised (snicker - RAISED) by this article: How can a "healer" cause male genitals to spontaneously grow? Does the maker of Viagra know this? Because if I were that healer, I'd be making my way to America to market my abilities!
And what's up with these parents only paying half the fee for a sex change/shrinking operation, I bet Mr. Sithole was really pissed. I mean come on!
---
MOM & DAD: Honey, for Christmas this year, we bought you a gift certificate for penis shrinking by Charles Penzone's Day Spa.
.....after the first appointment and in a higher voice
IT: Uh...mom, dad, Uh...where's the second gift certificate. They said I need a few more treatments to make this permanent or my penis will SPONTANEOUSLY grow back.
MOM & DAD look at each: Did you buy another gift certificate? No, did you buy another gift certificate? NO. Hmm, well honey, I guess you'll have to wait till next year.
---
Poor Mr. Sithole, he was in the girls locker room at an athletic event when his SPONTENAITY decided to present itself.
The morale of the story....Even a shrunken penis has a mind of its own in a girls locker room!
Whoa. This is going to completely change Ripley's Believe it or Not display of shrunken heads.
posted by SirTalksALot at 4/15/2005 11:43:00 AM
8 Comments:
Sharron - A before and after on this subject might cause spontaneous vomit to spew forth. What if that "healer" did an infomercial with actual clients that showed them as a man, then as a woman. Then showed them doing the procedure! OUCH...I'm dying.
Kristine - Yeah one misplaced letter and BOOM, you have my sweater! But just to clarify, my sweater was NOT a hermaphrodite.
What was the first name on Bushyhead? LOL Tell me it wasn't Dick!
I have heard of this formula that shrinks the male genitalia. My ex has quarts of it in her garage.
poor Mrs. (mr?) Shithole...
between the malady and the surname, I think I would have shot myself in the head a LONG time ago.
Tommy - Was it called Bitterbitchacillian?
Becky - I hear ya! Strangely enough, I think all these things are 10 times worse in America. They just have different names (healer=plastic surgeon)
Webmiz - Uh, which head? There was one he WANTED to get rid of anyway.
ha! very true, Sir.
I would have suggested shooting BOTH. :)
holy shit is that a true story???
Ha ha ha. Just when I think I'm having a bad day...man, at least I don't have a little weiner.
BTW, I had to go read the shithole sweater story again because it's so freaking funny.
Okay, off to Buffalo!
Webmiz - Would that be suicide by castration?
ERL - Yes. I read this in a local newspaper The Other in News of the Weird, then I looked it up on the net, and a bunch of articles popped up. I'm seriously scared of this herb that caused the shrinkage!
Boozie - that's right! because you're a teddy bear...LOL I finally put the Shi*hole sweater away for the season. (sigh, goodbye til next year bargain sweater).
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